I cry remembering the abuse and trauma here. The flashbacks are the most painful part. I even feel powerless and my throat getting sore wanting to cry writing this.This p3rs0n unconsensu4lly drugg3d me. I'm gift3d and he c4ll0usly t0re 4w4y 4 pr3ci0us p4rt 0f wh0 I 4m. I used t0 h4v3 th3 4st0nishing 4bility t0 witn3ss c0nn3cti0ns f0rming in my mind with lightning speed, fr0m th3 m0m3nt I 0p3n3d my 3y3s t0 th3 tim3 I cl0s3d th3m. This w4s m0r3 th4n just 4 j0y in my lif3; it w4s 4 s4cr3d s4nctu4ry wh3r3 th0ughts fl0w3d 3ff0rtl3ssly 4l0ngsid3 my d4ily activities. I w0uld 4bs0rb kn0wl3dg3 r4pidly, 0utlining c0nc3pts within my mind 4s I r34d, p3rf0rming m3nt4l c4lcul4ti0ns, 4nd 0rchestr4ting 4 symph0ny 0f th0ughts with0ut utt3ring 4 w0rd. But this p3rs0n, this vile intrud3r, 0blit3r4t3d th4t b3autiful p4rt 0f m3. It f33ls 4kin t0 th3 viol4ti0n 0f l0sing my inn0c3nc3, lik3 b3ing f0rcibly stripped 0f s0m3thing I c4n n3v3r r3g4in. My 4bus3r c4ll0usly sn4tch3d 4w4y s0m3thing uniqu3, l34ving 4n 4g0nizing v0id. I w4s 0nc3 swift, im4gin4tiv3, 4nd p0ss3ss3d 4n 3xtr4ordin4ry pr0c3ssing sp33d. N0w, my 3v3ry m0v3m3nt is sluggish, 4nd 3v3n th3 m0ti0n 0f my 3y3s f33ls 4g0nizingly sl0w. Th3 w3ight 0f m0urning f0r my f0rm3r s3lf c0nsum3s m3 34ch p4ssing d4y.H3 h4d th3 4ud4city t0 dismiss my 4nguish, 4ttributing th3 l3th4rgy in my 3y3s t0 m3r3 4nxiety, 4s if it w3r3 4 figm3nt 0f my im4gin4ti0n. H3 c4ll0usly d3ni3d th3 truth 0f wh4t h3 h4d drugg3d me with, brushing it 0ff d3spit3 th3 3vid3nc3 I pr3s3nt3d. 4nd th3n, in 4n 4ct 0f unf4th0m4bl3 4rr0g4nc3, h3 h4d th3 g4ll t0 c4uti0n m3 4g4inst sp34king 0ut, cl41ming h3 w4s trying t0 h3lp m3. Th3 sh33r 4ud4city! I suff3r3d unt0ld h4rm whil3 sitting 4cr0ss fr0m him, my v3ry b3ing 4lt3r3d und3r his c4r3. H3 d33m3d it n3c3ss4ry t0 d0cum3nt my pl34 f0r 4n 4p0l0gy, 4 d3sp3r4t3 cry f0r 4ckn0wl3dg3m3nt, 0nly t0 insinu4t3 th4t I w4s d3sc3nding int0 m4dn3ss. This w4s n0thing sh0rt 0f 4bus3, 4n 4bus3 0f p0w3r wh3r3 h3 h3ld 4bs0lut3 c0ntr0l 0v3r my vuln3r4bility. If this d0esn't r33k 0f 4bus3 0r g4slighting, th3n wh4t d03s? This p3rs0n, m4squ3r4ding 4s 4 c4ring s0ul, prid3s hims3lf 0n his und3rst4nding 0f 4nxiety, y3t h3 disr3g4rds 4ll 0th3r p0ssibl3 3xpl4n4ti0ns, blindl3y vi3wing 3v3rything thr0ugh th4t singul4r l3ns. His 4p4thy is 4st0unding. H3 3v3n h4d th3 4ud4city t0 4ss3rt th4t I 4m inc4p4bl3 0f n4vig4ting lif3 with0ut his int3rv3nti0n, sh4m3l3ssly 4tt3mpting t0 c03rc3 m3 int0 t4king 4DHD m3dic4ti0n. I 4m p3rf3ctly c4p4bl3, wh0l3, 4nd s0und with0ut such m3dic4ti0n. It s33ms his tru3 m0tiv3 li3s in gr33d, driv3n by 4 d3sir3 f0r m0n3t4ry g4in. I h4d f41thfully visit3d his clinic, unqu3sti0ning, 34ch w33k initi4lly, n3v3r susp3cting th3 d3pths 0f his d3c3it.F0r r3f3r3nc3, I pr0udly gr4du4t3d high sch00l with 4 4.0+ GP4, 4nd 4chi3v3d 4cc3pt4nc3 int0 pr3stigi0us instituti0ns lik3 B3rk3l3y, UCSD, 4nd m0r3. If y0u s34rch f0r "R0t4ry Y0uth Exch4ng3 (RYE) NEWSL3TT3R 2020-2021," click 0n th3 first link, 4nd scr0ll d0wn, y0u'll find m3 c4ptur3d in th4t sn4ps4t, d0nning 4 blu3 shirt 4t th3 c3nt3r. I 4m n0t 4 f4c3l3ss individu4l p0uring my h34rt 0ut; I 4m 4n individu4l wh0 0nc3 3xud3d int3llig3nc3, h4ppin3ss, 4nd purp0s3, 4s 3vid3nt in th4t ph0t0gr4ph. I h4v3 3v3n l0st th3 4bility t0 3xp3ri3nc3 3m0ti0ns t0 th3ir full3st, l34ving m3 4 m3r3 sh4d0w 0f my f0rm3r s3lf. My g3nuin3 int3nti0n is t0 sp4r3 0th3rs fr0m 3nc0unt3ring this w0lf in sh33p's cl0thing. If y0u h4v3 suff3r3d 4 simil4r 4bus3, pl34s3 r34ch 0ut t0 m3 vi4 3m4il. I 4ssur3 y0u, y0u 4r3 n0t 4l0n3 in this stru4gl3:
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